Mccordmatt’s Weblog

Sex, Love, and Lasting Relationships: The way God wants sex to be

God desires us to enjoy sex, like I said last week for 3 reasons: a. Children, b. our enjoyment, c. for His Glory. God created sex to be great, awesome, wonderful, fulfilling, etc.  But He created it for one setting and one setting only, One man, one woman, one marriage for life.

Two words that describe how God wants your sex life to be: (I thess. 4:4)

1.  Sanctified — Process of becoming more like Christ.  How can sex be becoming more like Christ, well enjoying His creation in the manner and only in the manner in which He created it, one man, one woman in marriage for life.

2.  Honorable — God wants to see us enjoy sex the way He created it, but He also wants our sex life to honor Him.

How does the Bible describe an ungodly sex life? ( I Thess. 4:5)

“Like the heathen, who do not know God”

6 forms of sexual immorality according to Leviticus 20; keeping in mind this is the Old Testament, does this chapter remind you of any generation today?

1. Fornication — Sex outside of Marriage

2. Adulturey – Sex with a married person

3. Incest — Sex with a family member

4. Homosexuality — Sex with someone of the same sex

5. Bestiality — Sex with animals

6. Pedophilia — Sex or sex act with children

How is it possible to avoid sexual immorality/sin? (I Cor. 6:18)

Flee, run, sprint, get away fast etc.

Bad reasons for romantic relationships:

1. It makes me Feel Good about myself.

2. It makes me Look Good to other people.

3. It helps me to satisfy the desires of my flesh.

4. Defrauding — Stirring up desires in others that they cannot righteously satisfy.

How do we defraud:

1. Inappropriate Dress (Immodesty)

2. Inappropriate Flirting

3. Inappropriate words (“I Love You”)

4. Inappropriate touch

The goal of our deepest and most intimate relationships should be to bring the other person closer to Christ.  Not to Christ (Missionary dating) I Cor. 6:14-15

Sex, Love, and Lasting Relationships: Difference Between Boys and Girls

So what are some of the big difference between Guys and Girls?

Well lets see:

Guys are:                                         Girls are:

Visual                                                 Emotional

Pushy                                                 Guarded

Constant                                             Moody

What is the goal for Romance: To have Intimacy in Marriage.

If we want intimacy in marriage then lets start with what intimacy is: Intimacy is No Fear of Rejection (Gen. 2:25)

Keys:

1.  Sex is important to you, and to God.  ( I Cor. 7:1-8)

God created sex for three main reasons, a. children, b. our enjoyment, c. His Glory.  But God created sex, sex is not a bad thing it is a wonderful, awesome thing when used in its right place and manner, after marriage. We can not truly enjoy the gift of sex in any way outside of the boundaries of marriage.

2.  You are responsible for YOUR OWN sexual behavior (I Thess. 4:1-4) What type of situations do we put ourselves in?  Many times we put ourselves in places where we have very little chance not to fail.  Dating for instances, we should not date alone,  go in groups so there is not temptation to mess up and fall into sin.

3.  You are Partially responsible for the behavior of other Christians. (I Thess. 4:5-6).  How can I be responsible for someone else, well when you read these verses it will help you understand that if you are defrauding someone you are causing them to sin. Defrauding is causing desires to stir up in others that they can not righteously satisfy.  Girls you wear something cut way low, or very tight you are defrauding the guys, how you ask, go back to the top and re-read what guys are. . . . . we are visual.  Guys, telling your girlfriend you “love them” is defrauding them why you ask, go back to the list. . . . . girls are emotional, when you connect with them by throwing out those words you can cause them to stumble and defraud them. 

4.  Your deepest, most intimate relationship must be based on Common Values (II Cor. 6:14-15).  These verses are the verse that say “do not be unequally yoked with someone who is not a believer.”  well it is because you have nothing in common that matters.  You might like the same ice cream or the same color but the one thing that matters the most is not there, your relationship with Christ.

Remember Sex is not bad, it is very good when practiced in the manner God created it to be, within the marriage of one man to one woman for life.